Marriage Mondays!

Relationship tips to keep your marriage humming!

Communication is a practice.

Why do we pay doctors and lawyers so much to “practice” on us? I guess there are some things in life that we should never stop working on and improving. Communication is one of those things; you are not born with good communication skills, you develop them over a lifetime. It’s not always fun to talk about tough subjects—money, religion, raising kids— but it’s invaluable to a healthy and happy relationship. Don’t get discouraged when you have a hard time communicating, just keep practicing!

Marriage Mondays!

Relationship tips to keep your marriage humming!

Reframe Problems as Opportunities for Improvement.

 We ignore problems in order to avoid the pain of confronting them, but the irony is that we ultimately suffer more as a result of our avoidance. Problems multiply when we avoid them, and they go away when we confront them.

The key is to focus on the other side of the problem; a problem can be a real break, a chance to get out of a rut and make yourself or your situation better. Problems don’t always arise as a result of external factors or bad events; any new awareness you have that allows you to see possibilities for improvement presents a problem for you to solve.

In order to have a healthy relationship, you have to become a problem seeker rather than a problem avoider.

Exercise!

Yes, I’m talking about physical, sweat inducing, heart-rate increasing exercise. Regular structured exercise not only benefits your body, it also stabilizes your moods and triggers feel-good chemicals to be released in the brain. Studies have also shown that physical exercise helps combat ADD, stress, depression, and a host of chronic diseases. And you might just see results in the sack too! If you don’t believe me, pick up a copy of a book called Spark by John Ratey. Do this for yourself and for your relationship.

Marriage Mondays!

Relationship tips to keep your marriage humming!

Can I get a witness?

When your partner is sad or frustrated, you may not feel like you’re doing anything to help by just sitting there, but sometimes it’s enough to just be present and empathize. When we try to problem-solve too soon, we can interfere with intimacy. The goal isn’t necessarily to fix the feelings, it’s to help each other feel less alone. You can foster a strong sense of togetherness simply by being a caring witness to your partner’s negative feelings.